Friday, October 13, 2017

Recharging

Hi,

Earlier today I was out at lunch, walking through the leafy suburb of West Bridgford. Given that it was Chameleons last night (woo!), I make the short journey over in the car to pay the group's money into the bank. Not that the walk lets me people watch and chance to pop into my favourite fancy sandwich shop. I should add this is *after* I've paid the money in, not before. ;-)

As I walked back I stopped by a jewelry shop to pick something up for the Ever Lovely Mrs J. Give it a few weeks and we'll have been married 20 years. I don't say this as a brag, but with thanks and gratitude. I'm thankful for her love, beauty, wit, and wisdom, not to mention the two kiddies we've somehow managed to raise. Over the years, I sometimes hear of couples having difficulty and it makes me glad that we're a family. Perhaps doubly so when I think that she didn't sign up for a cross-dresser as a husband. Still, in sickness, in health and en femme, eh? :-)


I had a slight wobble on Wednesday night as I packed my bag. Picking out a bright top, and my trusty knee boots, I found myself sat, well, despondent about the whole thing. Really, this is just plain daft, given that I was going to be out in about 24 hours, and - unusually - I had a good idea of what to wear. Why the wobble? I don't know, although it may be wrapped up with a slight feeling it's been a while (there's a worrying trend). Still, stiff upper lip, Jones. :-)

At Chams we had a visit from Nicola & Steph from TrendCo, and they kindly bring along plenty of 'hair' for us to try. Not only are they both lovely, and provide fantastic customer services, but they know just what most of our members like. Styles to suit the variety of ages, and excellent prices too.

I tried a few on while we chatted. One was a human hair wig with colour like my own had been. The cut and feel was very good, but the choppy bob made me conscious of my jaw. I tried a black curly one just for fun. It was just a bit too Bellatrix Lestrange, which may have been grand for Halloween, but a bit much for daytime. Well, unless you're knocking off Gringotts Bank, but a part-time lady never gives up her funding secrets. :-)

Nicola asked about how the group was funded and when I explained, she asked if it felt like a lot of responsibility. Well, in truth, the room booking has been handed over from Sandy, so all I need to do is handle the cash, answer emails and deal with the website. I've been doing the latter two for a number of years, so the payments aren't a hassle. Plus, it's not like I'm on my own, as Val and Diane both kindly help too. Steph asked what did I get from coming to the group. That's a question I'll pick up next time, because I need to give it some thought.

I wondered, is it a burden, doing the admin? The answer came quickly, which is no. It's more that I'm lucky there is a group. We all chip in to keep it going, what with bring & buy, discussion groups, party nights, researcher panels, and vendor visits. I know this may sound like a broken record, but I'm incredibly thankful to those at Chameleons who help keep the group going. It's not always about activities, but the simple act of making the effort to attend, and keeping the group running.

With TrendCo packing up, there was time for a few snaps (thanks Val), and then try on a blouse I'd picked up at last time's September Start-Up. Suitably officey, and I guess we all have our own favourite styles. Afterwards, it was time to head back home. I may miss the next meeting as it's half-term, but last night's outing was just what I needed.

Take care,
Lynn

Friday, October 06, 2017

Moving on

Hi,

Am I glad it's Friday! What a week. Sheesh. I feel like a hamster that's been through an angry pinball machine. :-)

None of this is T related. Just the punch-and-you-better-duck of life in general. A parking ticket at work, meetings, botched appointments, website woes*, and other malarkey that frankly.... and as the immortal line goes, "I'm getting too old for this shit." :-)

The above is all sorted out, but I could have done without that type of stress. Other stress, like deadlines, workload, and short bursts of dysphoria, I manage to cope with. It's not so much the pressure, but the feeling of being trapped and unable to fix things that gets to me. Then, things get stuck in my head, going around and around. Yeah, like that helps. :-)

For a change, I joined a meditation class at work and we tried a walking exercise. No, let's rephrase that, we did a meditation in which you walk. Breath in on the step forward, then toe down first and breath out; repeat. Oh, and try not to fall over.

For a brief moment, I felt rather self-conscious even though the rest of the group were doing just fine. But what if  you look a bit camp? came my Inner Critic. Camp? Sweetheart, please. I gave up keeping a hard line between Lynn / Richard behavior long ago. It's just so bloomin' tiring. Watching how you sit, making sure you don't gesture too much, etc. Ah, phooey. Sure, I'm not out, but that old firewall fell some time ago. Maybe my body language gives off a certain vibe, but... I could care.

So walking somewhat inelegantly, I engaged my inner... umm... transness? :-) and just strolled on. I think I got the hang of it and much as I couldn't quite dispel the mental noise that was going on upstairs, at least by the end of it I felt more relaxed in my body. Little victories eh?

But.... (deep breath and a sip of gin & tonic) it is now Friday and all that noise is behind me. Just the weekend to look forward to!

From a good news view: the Chams website calendar is fixed once again, so it's all automatic and I don't have to update it so much. Plus, T-Central were kind enough to feature my blog the other day. All reasons to be cheerful for!

Whatever you're up to, I hope it goes well.

Take care,
Lynn